Author: Clark Masterson

If you wake up every morning and hate going to work, you make be lacking purpose.

If you are looking to make an impact in the world and your team is not stepping up to help, you may also be lacking purpose.

Leading With Purpose

As an individual and as a leader, it is important to have a clear and meaningful purpose. Purpose (which I will also call a mission) is what drives and motivates us, and it is what inspires others to follow. Leading with purpose means being intentional about the impact you want to make and the legacy you want to leave behind. In this article, we will explore the importance of leading with purpose and provide practical tips for how you can do so effectively.

Why Purpose Matters

Purpose matters to you. Purpose gives our lives meaning. It gives us a reason to wake up in the morning. Purpose can also help us prioritize what is truly important and give us a sense of perspective. When you are on a personal mission, you are able to focus more on what is in front of you and forget the things that don’t matter.

When you think of your purpose or mission, realize you are not limited to just one. You can desire to be a top-notch parent, a savvy business-person, and a skilled artist. What is more important is that you have a reason to wake up and get after it.

Purpose also matters to your followers. Leaders who are driven by a clear purpose are more likely to inspire and engage their followers. When people feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves, they are more likely to be committed and motivated. Also, when times get tough, a clear mission can also provide direction and clarity. When leaders have a strong sense of purpose, they are better equipped to make difficult decisions and navigate complex challenges.

How to Lead With Purpose

Leading with purpose requires intentional effort and self-reflection. Here are some practical tips for how you can lead with purpose:

1. Define Your Purpose

What impact do you want to make? What legacy do you want to leave behind? Take some time to reflect on your skills, values, passions, and strengths. Consider what motivates and inspires you. What are you good at? What are your unique skills? Where are you positioned that could be most impactful for others? Your purpose should be something that resonates deeply with you and that you can articulate clearly to others.

And let’s be real, your mission should be both aspirational and within reach. If you are on a mission to be the world’s best pianist, yet you have never touched a piano key… maybe get in 20 hours of practice and see if you still have that itch. Your purpose should be inline with your skills. Your work mission should be inline with your company’s function.

There are two layers here. You should have a least one personal purpose and a professional purpose. Your personal purpose should revolve around you. What are your goals? How are you going to develop over time? What are you going to do to improve? Where is your life headed? This purpose will help you clarify actions for yourself. Your professional purpose is about your work. This purpose should require the help of others to achieve. I mean, leaders have followers… Where are you leading them?

2. Communicate Your Purpose

Once you have defined your purpose, it is important to communicate it clearly: both to yourself and others. Your purpose should be a central part of your leadership message. Share your purpose with your team, stakeholders, and other stakeholders. Help them understand why your purpose is important and how it guides your decisions and actions.

When you commit to a purpose, write it down. Review it regularly. Just as followers will get motivated by a clear and powerful mission. You can get motivated by your own clear and powerful purpose. Your work purpose should be documented and shared with the team. Your personal purpose should be documented and shared with yourself.

3. Align Your Actions With Your Mission

Leading with purpose requires aligning your actions. Make sure that your decisions and actions are consistent with your mission. If you are unsure how to align your actions with your purpose, simply ask yourself: “How does this decision/action align with my purpose?” If it doesn’t align with your purpose, choose a different decision or action.

Remember, your purpose or mission is like a north star. It may not be clear exactly how you will achieve your goals, but with a north star you will know which direction to go. When you must make a decision, your purpose is there to guide you.

4. Inspire Others

Leading with purpose is about inspiring others to join you in your mission. Share your purpose with others and help them see how they can contribute to your mission. Share with people beyond your work group. Share with outsiders. Share with customers. Share with anyone who will listen. Then, provide opportunities for others to get involved and make a difference.

But how do you inspire others? Through emotion. Through words. Through conviction. Paint a picture of the world you want to see. How will your business or product change the world? How will it change one individual? How will it change you? These are stories to tell. 

How aspirational is your mission? Are you looking to revolutionize space technology and achieve the ultimate goal of allowing humans to live on other planets (SpaceX)? Are you on a mission to empower every person and organization on the planet to achieve more (Microsoft)?

Or do you just want to “to bring the best user experience to customers through innovative hardware, software, and services.” (I love you Apple, but this mission statement does not create an emotional connection).

Nobody gets inspired to increase shareholder value. No one gets expired by the “best” of anything. People, especially the younger generations, want to know their work is meaningful and has an impact.

Use emotion. Paint a pretty picture of what’s possible (accidental alliteration). Inspire others.

5. Continuously Reflect and Refine

Finally, leading with purpose requires ongoing reflection and refinement. Take time to reflect on your purpose and evaluate how well you are aligning your actions with your purpose. Ask for feedback from others and be open to making changes as needed. Purpose is not a one-time decision; it is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth. It is a north star which may shift over time.

Conclusion

Leading with purpose is a powerful way to inspire and engage others. It requires intentional effort and self-reflection, but the benefits are well worth it. When we have a clear and meaningful purpose, we are more likely to find fulfillment in our work and make a positive impact on the world around us.

So, get thinking. Get writing. Make clear your purpose.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time,

Clark

 

Many people read Walter Isaacson’s wonderful biography on Steve Jobs and felt it gave them permission to act like an asshole. While Jobs was an impactful leader, we don’t need another Steve Jobs. We need YOU and YOUR leadership. When you lead like someone else, your followers can sense the lack of authenticity and it breeds mistrust. When you lead authentically, you can build a team of passionate followers committed to achieving a mission. Let’s talk about authentic leadership.

Who are you as a leader?

Every leader has strengths, but trying to be just like another leader comes at the expense of being yourself. Followers recognize this and will inherently mistrust a leader who is not authentic. While you can admire and emulate strengths in other leaders, remember that your authenticity is what gathers followers to your mission.

Which leaders do you admire? And what is it about them that is admirable? Do you like Jobs’ affinity for design? Do you like Bill Gate’s vision of having a PC on every desk? Do you like Alexander the Great’s respect for his adversaries? It is agreeable to aspire to better leadership, fill holes in your skillset, and emulate others. But this emulation must be authentic. For example, if you are an introvert and try to force extroversion, prepare for poor reception.

“The one essential quality a leader must have is to be your own person, authentic in every regard.” – Bill George

What is an Authentic Leader?

An authentic leader is one who is clear on their purpose and values and behaves accordingly. Bill George, ex-CEO of Medtronic, wrote a fantastic book on leadership where he defined 5 essential qualities of authentic leaders:

  • They have a clear purpose
  • They practice solid values
  • They lead with heart
  • They establish connected relationships
  • They live with self-discipline

You may look at this list and think, “Well, yeah, leaders should do all these things,” but putting them together and demonstrating these qualities at all times can be challenging. For example, you are likely responsible for hitting growth targets. If you and your team are tracking to miss those targets, how will you respond? Will you emotionally react out of frustration? Or will you lead with self-discipline and address the challenge with calm collection?

“Leaders are pulled in many different directions, yet must keep a clear vision of where they and their organizations are headed.” – Bill George

Leading is difficult. Leaders and managers have responsibilities which can be stressful. Even so, building solid teams with inspired followers requires authentic leadership. Let’s look at each quality:

Purpose

There is a line in Alice in Wonderland where Alice comes to a fork in the road and asks the Cheshire cat, “Which road do I take?” The cat replies, “Do you know where you want to go?” “No,” says Alice. To which the cat replies, “Then any road will get you there.”

Purpose is your where, what, and why: where are you headed, what will you achieve, and why is it important to you? Do you understand your motivations and passions? Are you working toward something greater than yourself? Robert Greenleaf, the father of servant leadership, advocates service to others as a primary purpose. This service should be specific to your motivations. Do you wish to help people achieve more? Do you strive to provide clean drinking water to rural populations? Do you wish to restore people to health?

What mark do you want to make? This is your purpose.

Values

Your values are the deeply held personal beliefs that shape your actions. Common values include honesty, dignity, and respect. These values must pervade through every interaction and decision. When faced with a difficult decision, clarity of your values will help you choose the right path to take.

One value all leaders must have is integrity. Do what you say you will do, and tell the whole truth. Anytime you act without integrity, you demonstrate a lack of trustworthiness. This is repellant to followers and will breed toxicity in a group.

Heart

You have identified your purpose and values. Now it is time to connect those through your actions with heart. Bill George recommends engaging with followers through a greater sense of purpose. This shared purpose strikes at the emotions of the team. Heart also means caring about others and their journeys. It means showing empathy for your followers. Heart is at the root of the saying, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

This aspect can be difficult for some leaders. Sometimes we are fearful to care about employees as we may need to discipline them, or even fire them. However, without heart, your team will tend to be uncommitted to the mission and performance will suffer.

Connected relationships

While Heart focuses on how you act, Connected-Relationships refers to who you interact with. Leaders can establish strategies and delegate work without risking emotional connection with the team. However, great leaders connect and establish relationships with followers.

Think of the best leader you ever worked for. Did they make time to connect with you? Did they take a personal interest in your development? Napoleon was beloved by his soldiers as he made time to walk through the camps and speak with his men. Alexander the Great showed respect to his soldiers and adversaries alike.

Again, great leaders connect and establish relationships.

Self-Discipline

Can you lead authentically in times of stress? How do you act when times are tough? Self-discipline means you have the self-control to manage your emotions and think clearly even in difficult situations. Self-discipline allows your followers the safety and predictability of your interactions. Can they bring you difficult news without you losing your temper? That’s self-discipline.

As with the other qualities above, self-discipline extends beyond the workplace. Your interactions with family and friends should mimic how you act with your followers. As a team is like one big family, your authenticity and consistency with self-discipline creates a work culture not unlike a familial culture.

Self-discipline does not mean you have no emotions. By all means, share your passion, enthusiasm, fears, and frustrations. However, be intentional and in control at all times. You can read this article to learn a strategy for emotional control.

Becoming Authentic

To develop the 5 qualities authenticity, there are 5 associated behaviors you can focus on.

Purpose: Passion

How are you showing up? Does your purpose inspire you? Living with passion is infectious and acting with passion demonstrates your commitment to your purpose. Share your passion. Live with passion. Spread your passion.

Values: Actions

Values are shown in how you act. Also, your values shine through when in what George refers to as “the crucible.” Think of a difficult time that tested you and pushed you into new growth and development. How did you adapt and overcome? Were you able to make difficult decisions in alignment with your values? Tough times show a leader their authentic self. They also show a leader where they have room to grow.

Heart: Compassion

Compassion = empathy + action. You develop compassion by feeling empathy and taking action on behalf of another person. Get to know the life stories of those you work with. Understand their goals and desires. Recognize their strengths and weaknesses. You must also do the same for yourself. Recognize your own journey, and your own strengths and weaknesses.

Relationships: Connectedness

Staying connected means you make time to connect with others. This is not a one-and-done approach. Check in regularly. Acknowledge accomplishments. Coach followers on their struggles. These repeated actions will build trust on the team and can actually strengthen the group when challenges arise. When you are connecting with someone, pay full attention as if they are the only person in the world.

Self-Discipline: Consistency

Show up as the same leader every day and at every opportunity. While you may be in the midst of a crucible, your followers will still look to you for leadership. Your leadership should not change depending on your mood. Lean into your purpose, your values, and your care for the team. Consistency will also breed trust. As you navigate stressors and pressures your followers will look to you as a rock in tough times.

And so….

We do not need another Steve Jobs. We need you, and so does your team. Authentic leadership simply means that you show up as yourself… your true self. It also means that you develop the self-awareness and self-control to build trust, build relationships, and build a purpose driven team.

Until next time,

Clark

Stop being a slave to your emotions – Control them like a Stoic.

Losing emotional control sucks.

A Quick Story…

The other night, my kids were getting ready for bed. The routine is simple: brush team, get into pajamas, tuck in time, done. In my mind, the routine should take 10 minutes and then I can get back to work. 10 minutes into the routine I reminded my daughters to wrap it up and get in bed. But they were distracted, hanging with each other and having some fun. 20 minutes later, my frustration builds and I remind them it was not time to have fun, it was time to go to bed. 30 minutes later, my frustration peaks I snap at my kids, “Go to bed, or no screen time tomorrow!” They went to bed. Mission accomplished.

(sigh)

5 minutes later, I felt ashamed. Why did I react like that? They were having fun with each other… why on earth would I want to discourage that? Wasn’t there a better way I could have acted? I realized my anger came from a fear: I needed to get work done. If I can’t finish work, then I say up late. If I stay up late I get crappy sleep. If I get poor sleep then I wake up feeling like crap and then my performance as a human (and Dad) is affected. I was focused on my needs, not my kids’. I perceived their actions as a blocker to mine. And then I was reminded of a quote by Marcus Aurelius, Stoic emperor of Rome back in 170 AD. He wrote, “Stop perceiving the pain you imagine and you’ll remain completely unaffected.”

Yup. My pain was imagined.

Emotional Control

When was the last time you lost your temper? Or when was the last time you were snappy or short with someone? How did you feel afterward? When these events happen, we never feel proud about losing control. You may feel awesome and justified at the time, but once the emotions have passed, and the damage has been done, there typically comes feelings of regret and shame. We can do better. In this article, I’ll share 4 steps you can use to gain emotional control and deepen your emotional maturity.

First, let’s get one thing crystal clear. Emotional control is not about squashing out emotions. It is not about teaching yourself to become numb. That would be lame and inhuman. It is about recognizing that your emotions are yours to own, and your reactions are also yours to own. Your feelings and your actions are two separate things, yet we conflate them to be the same.

But you say, “I am angry therefore I yell.” Well, you may yell, but other people might speak more slowly, clearly, with sharper eye contact, sternly, etc. There are a variety of responses to any emotion: anger, fear, jealousy, happiness, etc. What you do in times of emotion is your choice, though it may feel like an involuntary reaction.

I want to focus here on anger. When we react out of anger, much damage can be done. Also, anger is an emotion we all can relate to.

Before we talk about how to fix it, let’s first acknowledge how this behavior impacts our lives (I am using “we” and “our” here as I am well within this realm of needed improvement).

Relationships

First, overreactions and emotional outbursts can negatively impact our relationships. We can emotionally hurt those we care about. Think about how we make other people feel when we are angry. Any words that we speak when angry risk verbal attack, accusation, a provocation. If we snap at our kids, we can make them feel depressed, unworthy of love… if we yell at our spouse, they could feel attacked, unappreciated, misunderstood… You get the picture.

Even if we are not yelling at someone, and are “just” angry, any human with mirror neurons (which is all of us) can get sucked into our emotional world. Emotions spread. 

Angry reactions create a lack of trust. Think of how you might talk to your best friend. Wouldn’t you want to be able to go to them and tell them anything? It may be for advice or maybe just to vent. But what if that friend had a habit of overreacting? Would you trust them with this conversation? Would you trust your spouse? Would your spouse trust you?

Anger and over-reactions degrade trust.

Personal Performance

Anger not only affects our relationships. It affects our own performance. When we are angry, we cannot think clearly. We get stressed and distracted. Our bodies get ready for action and our quality of decision-making goes out the window. Have you ever gotten angry and said something you regret? Have you ever done your best work while angry? Anger is a performance inhibitor. It puts us into a negative mindset, and this is detrimental to achievement. Martin Seligman, Shawn Achor, and a host of other researchers are well aware of the benefits of a positive mindset and the detriments of a negative mindset. Achor puts it best in his book The Happiness Advantage, “when your brain is happy, it “performs significantly better than it does at negative, neutral, or stressed. Your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, [and] your energy levels rise”. Negativity is killing your gains, bro.

The Right to Feel

“But Clark,” you say, “sometimes things really do make me angry. Shouldn’t I have the right to feel angry?”

Yes. You have a right to feel your feelings. But that is not the point of this article. Remember that emotional control is not about stomping out emotions, but choosing the actions following your feelings. It is about not letting your emotions control you.

There are times when you should feel angry. If you let the anger dictate your next move, you have become a slave to your feelings. And as we discussed above, nothing good comes from being mastered by your emotions.

As you are on the path of achievement, emotional control will allow you to acknowledge what you feel, identify the root cause, and choose the appropriate action to remedy the situation. This is part of the Stoic mindset. Acknowledge what you can control. Your emotions are YOURS to own. They are not thrust upon you by others.

Mastering Your Emotions

So what do we do about it? Here are 4 steps you can take to master your emotions.

1 – Take time

Often times, our overreactions come when we do not have time to deal. We have expectations of how our day or night should go, and then BAM, the universe steps in with something unexpected. We react. Think of every time you get stuck in traffic while in a hurry vs being in traffic when you have time to spare. Which is a more peaceful experience? If you catch yourself emotionally reacting, first do not try to solve the problem right away. The sooner you act, the sooner you will be reacting and not taking intentional action. Instead, when you feel the rage build, take a breath. Take 2, or three… give yourself a moment to acknowledge you need to take the next steps. Then progress to number 2.

2 – Ask the 5 why’s

Why are you angry? Ask yourself this question and you will inevitably provide yourself a surface-level answer. Continue asking why’s until you get to the real root of the problem. The root emotion you are feeling is not anger. It may be fear, injustice, unfairness, etc. Let’s use the bedtime example I shared earlier:

  • Why am I mad when my kids won’t get to bed on time?
    • Because I have more work to do.
  • Why do you need to get this work done?
    • Because my career depends on it. If I don’t get my work done, my boss may think I’m slacking and I won’t get that promotion I’m working for.
  • Why is your career progress so important?
    • Because my career allows me to take care of my family.
  • Why do you want to take care of your family?
    • Because I’m the man of the house… it is my job to take care of them.
  • Why is providing important to you as the man of the house?
    • Because I want my kids and wife to respect me. And for me, providing earns respect. If I don’t provide, what will they think of me? I fear they will look at me like a failure.

After going through the 5 why’s, we can see my real emotion is fear. The root cause is fear. Also, notice this is just a story I tell myself. You could easily argue with me about the other roles of a Dad and Husband. One who supports his kids playing together. One who creates space for fun. With the 5 whys get to the root of your issue. Now move to step 3 to add some perspective.

3 – Take another viewpoint

Step out of your own viewpoint for a moment. Put yourself in another person’s shoes. For example, I can look at this reaction from my daughters’ perspective. If I am emotionally reactive, I can think, “what must they think of me right now? Is this the example I want to set?” Or maybe when talking to your spouse, as yourself, “would I talk to my best friend this way?” This allows you to see your behaviors from another point of view. How does your behavior impact others? After this, finish with step 4.

4 – Own it

You have discovered and acknowledged that your anger stems from fear (or another emotion). Whose fear? Your’s. Your anger and your reaction are your problem. Blaming others for how you react is pointless and will not empower you to take different actions. In this step, own the reaction and the responsibility to act differently. Act with intention in a way that acknowledges your fear, your error, and your desire to do better. For example, the next time the bedtime routine runs over, I can choose different actions. We can start the routine earlier. Maybe I get up earlier in the morning to finish work at a different time. Maybe I change my story altogether.

Wrap up

Losing emotional control sucks. It negatively impacts both you and the people around you. The next time you are angry, walk through these 4 steps. Identify the root emotion. Choose a different action. I’ll leave you with a quote from Marcus Aurelius:

“External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight? And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it?”

Clark

live like a stoic

Marcus Aurelius: A roman emperor. A stoic. A man who wrote a journal which became a book. Meditations is almost 2,000 years old and has been foundational reading for stoics and philosophers. It was his personal journal, and he reminded himself what was important, what to remember, and how to live. His written reminders generally fall into certain buckets: mortality, purpose, action, focus, helping others, and more. Here are 7 action-based lessons from Marcus Aurelius:

1 – Focus on what is in front of you.

He states, “do what is in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness… stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you… stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions.” How often do you catch yourself thinking of the future or the past? Do you worry about what may come? Stop it. You have a task at hand. Focus on it. Doing anything else is to come at the expense of your current work. Also, focus on you, your work, and your purpose, and not on other people. He writes, “Nothing is more pathetic than people who run around… conducting investigations into the souls of the people around them…” You have a purpose and a mission. Focus on it.

2 – Remember, you will die.

Death meets all of us at some point. Aurelius often reminds himself of his mortality, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” If you were to leave life right now, would you be proud of the life you lived? The actions you took? The impact on those around you? Remember, you will die. Live accordingly.

3 – You are the master of your thoughts.

Your thoughts lead to actions, so better thinking leads to better actions. First, stop worrying; instead, think about what you need to be doing. Aurelius states, “Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people… It will prevent you from doing anything useful.” He also reminds us to think clearly and avoid randomness. “… get used to winnowing your thoughts, so that if someone says, ‘what are you thinking about?’ you can respond at once, and truthfully, that you are thinking about this or that. It would be obvious from your answer that your thoughts were straightforward and considerate ones- the thoughts of an unselfish person, one unconcerned with pleasure and with sensual indulgence generally, with squabbling, with slander and envy, or anything else you’d be ashamed to be caught thinking.”

4 – You are the master of your emotions.

Marcus Aurelius regularly comments on emotions and distractions that do not serve us. He states that the human soul degrades itself when, “… it is overpowered by pleasure or pain.” He also states, “The angry man seems to turn his back on reason out of a kind of pain and inner convulsion. But the man motivated by desire, who is mastered by pleasure, seems somehow more self-indulgent, less manly in his sins.” It is not that pain and pleasure are bad and should be avoided. Instead, reacting out of pain and overindulging in pleasure are sure ways to kick you off your path of purpose and intent. In another entry, he writes, “To be like a rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it.” Be like the rock and control your emotions.

5 – You are the master of your actions.

How you behave is your decision. When others wrong you, you may be tempted to react and seek retribution. To Aurelius, any wrongdoing that happens to you is simply the universe (logos) pushing you in the direction you need to go. As such, accept what happens to you as what is and choose to act in a way best aligned with your character and intent. Do not waste time with actions that do not serve your purpose. Instead, have faith and trust that all is for the best.

6 – Things ultimately happen for the best, if you accept your power to change.

Aurelius writes about Logos often. He reminds us that things happen to us so we can grow. “It was for the best. So Nature had no choice but to do it… Something happens to you? Good. It was meant for you by nature, woven into the pattern from the beginning… Nothing happens to anyone that he can’t endure.” This perspective allows you to move forward through adversity, trusting that you can adapt and overcome. As a leader (and as a human) there is no shortage of adversity, so trust you can manage it, and step up to overcome it.

7 – Mind your own business.

You should focus on you. What is your mission, your purpose, your impact? What are you doing right now that propels you forward? What are you doing right now that improves your life? None of the above answers lay in the minds of others. Do not worry about what others think. He states, “Nothing that goes on in anyone else’s mind can harm you. Nor can the shifts and changes in the world around you.” If you catch yourself thinking about what others may the thinking or saying about you, remember this teaching. What others think about should not concern you. Your actions and behavior should be your focus.

Also, the actions of others may distract you from your course. “The others obey their own lead, follow their own impulses. Don’t be distracted. Keep walking. Follow your own nature, and follow Nature – Along the road they share.” If you are minding your business and have clarity of purpose, you will not be distracted by the actions of others.

Meditations is a book you need on your shelf. There are more lessons than just “how to act” which serve as foundational reading not only for stoics, but anyone looking to improve their life.

Clark

Leaders support change

When you lead, you are supporting a team to move from point A to point B. This requires change. While this may sound obvious, it is worth remembering that change is often used as a noun… but it is, in fact, also a verb. Change is something we do, and the leader supports an environment where individuals can be innovative and initiate action toward a shared goal. 

In the article about the 6 essential leadership styles, I spoke of the commanding style of leadership as described by Daniel Goleman in his book, Primal Leadership. Leaders who command change are often met with resistance… Lots of resistance. If you want a change to happen, doing so via commandment is a sure way to make enemies and ruin morale. Let’s discuss three methods for creating change. Before talking about them, we have to talk about buy-in. 

Getting Buy-In

Organizational changes only work when individuals change. Individuals usually know what is best for them, so getting buy-in for the change can help mediate conflict when someone perceives the business needs are at odds with their personal needs. When individuals agree that changes are necessary, and have a hand in forming that change, you (the leader) will see less resistance, more creativity, more buy-in, and better results. Change can still happen without buy-in, but the process is messy, forced, and in extreme cases, wrought with tension and high emotions.

Getting buy-in is a topic all in itself. However, it starts with listening. Leaders do not have all the answers in a vacuum. They create a vision, indeed a shared vision, only after reflecting on experiences and listening to others. If you are a leader looking to make a change, then you must understand the environment you are stepping into and envision how it could be different. Listening helps you understand the experiences of others, and gives you insight into how things could be better.

Appreciative Inquiry

Let’s talk about our first method for supporting change: Appreciative Inquiry. The topic was written about in the book  Conversations Worth Having, by Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres. It focuses on communication strategies for discussing what is desired as opposed to what should be avoided. The authors describe “great conversations” as being meaningful, engaging, geared to generating information and possibility, solution-focused, positive, and productive. Imagine how you feel after a conversation with these qualities versus one that feels judgmental, dictatorial, commanding, and negative. One will motivate you and the other will trigger negative and defensive emotions. If you want to be good at creating change, be inspirational and caring, not dictatorial and judgmental.

There are 2 practices of appreciative inquiry:

Positive framing – With this practice, challenges are named, looked at from a positive angle, and then framed in terms of results and ideal outcomes. The authors suggest doing the following:

  • Name it – What is the problem, or the thing you don’t want?
  • Flip it – What is the positive opposite of this?.. the thing you do want?
  • Frame it – What is the desired outcome? 

Positive framing lays a foundation for better relationships and positive workplace culture. Who doesn’t want more of those?

Generative questions – Be curious. When you are curious, you naturally ask generative questions. They focus on the best of what is and what might be. If you want to inspire engagement, you must ask questions. Doing this lights up the brains and creativity of others. Also, you can easily turn around a negative conversation by beginning to ask questions. Don’t fake your curiosity. Find a way to desire understanding and seek to find it. By the way, the topic of generative questions pairs nicely with The Coaching Habit, written by Michael Bungay Stanier. 

Appreciative inquiry will help you lean into problem-solving with a positive perspective, thus improving relationships, inspiring individuals, and increasing buy-in. 

 

Action Research

Action Research is means of inquiry where a person actively investigates and evaluates their work and efforts. “Actively” means you are taking action and reflecting on that action. Traditional research could be described as a researcher performing an experiment on others and watching the results occur. As an action researcher, you would ask “what am I doing? Do I need to improve anything?” and then create an action plan and time for reflection. As a leader looking to change an organization, you are part of the change required. Your questions simply replace the “I” with “we.” How do we improve? Is our way working? What can we do to be better?

Action research follows a cycle referred to as the “action-reflection cycle.” The steps are as follows:

  • Observe – Look at your current environment, actions, results, etc. Are they what you want? Are they aligned with your goals and vision?
  • Reflect – What could be done differently to move you in the desired direction?
  • Act – implement your action plan. 
  • Evaluate – Did your action plan work
  • Modify – What tweaks need to be made to keep you going in the right direction?

When you reach the last stage, you are essentially back at the beginning of the action research cycle. 

Design Thinking

Design thinking is a process commonly used for product design. It is popular in the design and software spaces as the process requires you to understand the problem before building a solution. Many product creators build solutions hoping to find problems for them to solve. This leads to wasted time and effort as you cannot be sure there is a worthy problem that customers want solved. Design thinking works to ensure you understand the problem you are trying to solve before ideating, building, and testing solutions. 

The process can also be effectively applied to organizational change. In the book The Designing for Growth Fieldbook, the authors walk the reader through 15 steps to get them from zero to making an effective change. These steps are separated into 4 stages and align with 4 questions:

  1. What is? Start by scoping your change initiative and figure out what is the current state of reality. Talk to people. Observe their behavior. Immerse yourself in the experience. The deeper you get into the scenario, the better able you are to identify where the problems exist and what could be better. At the end of this stage, identify your insights and get ready to imagine. 
  2. What if? At this stage you should have a good idea on what the problems are, and now you get to ideate on what is possible. Consider what would be best for your team or organization. Do you need to change your systems and processes? Do you need to change how your team communicates? What does the ideal state look like? Brainstorm your ideas, write them down, and create “napkin pitches” for each (write a brief pitch that could fit on a napkin).
  3. What wows? You have your ideas and your pitches. Go get feedback. Go back to the people you spoke with in the first phase and ask them about your ideas. Ask for input and reactions. Iterate on your ideas based on their feedback. In this stage, create simple prototypes and share them. This could be an outline of a new process, new conversational tools, or new was to track work. Do not put a ton of effort into polishing prototypes. They are simply meant to show stakeholders and individuals ideas for change and get their feedback. Once you have a short list of impactful ideas, get ready to implement them and test.
  4. What works? Test your ideas. Prototypes and napkin pitches will earn feedback, but the proof is in the pudding. Only by implementing and trying the changes can you really see what works. In this stage, continue the listening tour and implement tracking metrics to learn which of your solutions are effective.

Deisgn thinking is a system that will ensure you understand the right problems to fix before putting effort into solutions. Also, by going through the four stages, you can bring your team along with the process and increase buy-in. If they identify the problems which need solutions, and also co-create solutions, you are more likely to have an engaged team through the effort.

Which system is best?

You may be drawn to one system over another, so try each methodology as you see fit. Regardless of which system you try, lean in with curiosity and seek to understand the problems which need to be solved. 

Thanks for reading.

Until next time…

Clark

 

First… Emotional Intelligence

If you are not familiar with Daniel Goleman, you should add two books to your reading list: 

  1. Emotional Intelligence
  2. Primal Leadership

Goleman wrote Emotional Intelligence in 1995 and the topic soon became top of mind for leaders and change agents across the world. In 2002, he wrote Primal Leadership, where he took the principles of emotional intelligence and merged them with leadership styles and their impact. Both are essential reading for any leader, new or experienced. 

There are 6 essential leadership styles

Goleman says, “When leaders fail to empathize with, or relate to the emotions of, a group accurately, they create dissonance. The resulting collective distress then becomes the group’s reoccupation, displacing the attention they need to give to the leader’s message – or to their mission.” He also states, “Dissonant leaders sometimes may seem effective in the short run – they may get a coveted promotion, for instance, by focusing on pleasing their boss – but the toxicity they leave behind belies their apparent success… dissonant leaders are the bosses that people dread working for.” To summarize, a leader is best served to live in resonant styles of leadership and use the dissonant styles only when the situation requires it. You might be asking, what are resonant and dissonant leadership styles?

Goleman’s research found that there were 6 basic leadership styles. These styles should not be confused with the types of leaders, like authentic, transformational, or servant, but are more like skills that are used at different times. He found that the most effective leaders could use all 6 styles at different times noting that the situation dictated the usefulness of each style. Also, the styles are divided into 2 categories: resonant and dissonant. Resonant styles promote positive workplace culture, whereas dissonant styles can lead to negative environments if used too much or in the wrong situations. 

Leadership styles in a nutshell

Adapted from Primal Leadership, 2002, p. 55.

Resonant Styles

Visionary – Moves people toward shared dreams.

  • Visionary leaders inspire others through a clear image of what is possible and where the organization is headed. they do not dictate how the vision is to be achieved, thereby freeing the individuals to innovate and maximizing buy-in from the group.

Affiliative – Creates harmony by connecting people to each other.

  • Affiliative leaders build and nurture relationships. They exude collaborative competence and value the emotional needs of employees over work goals. 

Coaching – Connects what a person wants with the organization’s goals.

  • Coaching leaders “help people identify their unique strengths and weaknesses, tying those to their personal and career aspirations.” They help individuals identify goals and co-create a plan for achieving those goals.  

Democratic – Values peoples’ input and gets commitment through participation.

  • Democratic leaders rely on utilizing the input and recommendations from individuals to guide actions. They build on three emotional intelligence abilities: collaboration, conflict management, and influence. 
Dissonant Styles

Pacesetting – Meets challenging and exciting goals. 

  • Pacesetting leaders drive for achievement by continually looking for ways to improve performance. When used with a motivated team, pacesetting can help get high-quality results when driving toward an exciting goal. Too often, pacesetting leaders are driven by numbers as opposed to focusing on the emotional needs of the team. 

Commanding – Soothes fears by giving clear direction in an emergency. 

  • Commanding leaders are also known as coercive leaders. They are dictatorial (in the micromanagement sense, not the tyrannical sense) and lead with a “do it because I say so” disposition. This style is often successful in times of crisis and emergency and is an effective way to soothe fears when times are uncertain. However, this style erodes trust and usually comes at the expense of developing individuals on the team. 

Which Style is most impactful?

As mentioned before, the most effective leaders use all 6 skills. They primarily reside in one or two of the resonant styles and use the dissonant styles only when necessary. In my opinion, there are 2 styles to learn immediately: visionary and coaching.

Leaders have a vision. Leadership implies a destination is present. Without a vision, leaders are not leading, but instead are shepherding followers in a stale pasture without growth. Sheep do not get inspired to act. But followers want to be inspired, and you will only get their best effort when their motivation is maximized. 

Coaching is a skill all leaders must learn. Leaders do not scale through micromanagement, but through unlocking potential in others. Coaching is a skill to make this happen. Also, the communication skills learned through coaching practice lead to better affiliative and democratic behavior. If you are new to coaching, check out The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier. It is a great (and short) book that will kickstart your skills as a coaching leader. 

Over time, practice all the styles. But remember that some styles will breed a positive culture, and others, if overused, will crush it. 

Thanks for reading. 

Until next time…

Clark

 

 

Trust Matters

A healthy team has trust. Look at any dysfunctional team and you will see problems stemming from a lack of trust. When there is a lack of trust, communication evaporates. Well… communication with YOU (the leader) disappears. Your team will still talk, but it will be gossip, complaining, communication triangles, and all sorts of morale-destroying behavior. Also, good luck getting honest and infiltered information from your team. If there is no trust, then honest communication is hidden. Patrick Lencioni writes about this in The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. Trust is the first dysfunction that must be addressed before any other team problem can be solved. As a leader, it is your job to create and nurture a trusting environment. 

Signs of distrust

Be aware that the below are signs of mistrust, but may also breed mistrust.

  • Back-biting – this can be gossip, or simply talking about someone else when they are not present
  • Communication triangles – This is where person A talks to person B about a problem with person C instead of person A going directly to person C.
  • Lack of objections to decisions – When decisions are made, you can be guaranteed there is always someone with a different opinion. If objections are not made, it is possible there is a lack of trust in the group.
  • Always hearing what you want to hear – This is similar to the above, but involves more aspects of your work. If you never hear of problems, challenges, mistakes, frustrations, etc., then you may not have earned the trust to hear of such things. This is a problem, because these DO exist, and you can’t help fix what you don’t know about. 

How to build trust

There is an old saying that it takes a lifetime to build trust, and a moment to ruin it. I disagree. I believe trust can be quickly earned if your behavior is trustworthy. Also, each of us ascribes a certain amount of our trust to individuals based on our perceptions of them. Then the trust is either reinforced or diminished with future interactions. Be trustworthy. Act trustworthy. You will be fine. 

Create clarity, and act, on your values

A trustworthy individual has values/morals/ethics. I acknowledge values/morals/ethics are different but are similar enough for this conversation. I will use them interchangeably for this article. Great leaders make it known what they believe in, then they act in alignment with those beliefs. You must have both! To build trust, you cannot only establish your values without acting in alignment. Also, you cannot act in alignment with your values if no one knows what they are. Establishing your moral identity and acting in alignment has 2 notable effects: 

  1. Increased charisma – Stated values and morals lend to the charisma of a leader. If you know what a leader cares about (and THAT they care), you are more likely to admire them for their commitment to purpose and high moral standards. As mentioned in this article. High moral standards are traits of both authentic leaders and transforming leaders. These leaders inspire us to be more and achieve more. 
  2. Earned trust – It is possible to be charismatic and untrustworthy. However, if you state your values AND act in alignment with them, you increase your trustworthiness. This is simply due to integrity and doing what you say you will do. Any behavior where your actions and words are not aligned makes you inherently untrustworthy.   

So how do you create clarity on your values? A starting place is by answering the questions I proposed in this article. Also, have you learned from past experiences that influence your values and ethics? While your moral identity should evolve over time, being intentional with self-reflection will help create clarity on your values and highlight if and when they evolve.

Listen

Another old statement is,  “people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I completely agree. If you want others to trust you, then care about them. Don’t fake it. Care. One way to show you care is by listening. Listen to understand and not just respond. When you listen, you allow the other person to feel heard and understood, which does a great deal for creating a personal connection. Also, listening is strategic. When you listen you learn. As a leader, listening can endear you to your followers as well as provide insight for problem-solving. Isn’t being trustworthy fun?

Speak without judgment

Fear of judgment is a real thing. As is fear of retaliation, ex-communication, resentment, etc. If you want to garner trust, listen to understand, then speak without judgment. Humans will err (you and I included, of course) and nobody wants to admit a mistake if they will be excoriated for it. Instead, be the coach. Ask questions, make no assumptions, guide, help, and do not judge!

Imagine yourself on the opposite side of this argument, just to drive the point home. Imagine you are at work, crushing it, doing what you feel is right, pushing toward a goal, and you realize you messed up. Like… you made a mistake which could cost your company thousands, or hundreds of thousands of dollars. You know what you did wrong. You know what you need to do to fix it. You need to tell your manager. How do you want your manager to respond? I am willing to bet that the way you should react to your own team is the same way you desire your manager to react to you.

Your next steps

Leadership can work without trust, albeait much less effectively. Start your journey here by answering the questions shared in this article. Then, establish how and when you will make time to practice your skills of communication. How will you share your values? How will you live by them? How will you listen? How will you communicate without judgment. 

Go be a great leader. Go be trustworthy.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time…

Clark 

What is the best way to lead?

Let’s get to the answer first: The best way to lead is authentically. I do not mean the model of leadership known as authentic leadership (but I will be discussing that below). I mean that the best way to lead is the way YOU can authentically lead. Be yourself. Would you rather put on a mask every day and lead with false traits and forced emotions? Or would you prefer to use your strengths and skills to be effective? You are not Winston Churchill or Joan of Arc. Their leadership is different than yours. while you can and should learn from their example, the best leadership you can provide is that which is authentic to you. 

But how do you determine what is authentic to you? Well… you ask questions. 

The questions to ask

You can lead by the seat of your pants, or you can lead intentionally and authentically. To begin understanding how you should lead, I suggest starting by answering these 5 questions:

What do I want as a leader?

What do you want to achieve? What goals do you have? What is important to you? What impact do you want to have on others?… on the world? Create clarity here on what you want and why that is important.

What DON’T I want as a leader?

What lines will you not cross? What kind of leader do you NOT want to be? Do you have experience working with a toxic leader? If so, dig into what was so memorable about that experience and how you strive to be different. 

What traits do I have that make me worth following?

You have superpowers. What are they? If you were to ask a friend what your best traits are, what would they say? Can you lean into these traits as a means to lead and support your followers? List at least a few traits which will help you lead effectively.

What traits do I have that could impede my effectiveness?

Time to get real. What do you do that could be an impediment? Are you reactive? Do you have weak empathy? Are you a poor listener? While you should lean into your strengths, take time to note areas of weakness that you can improve. 

What do I plan to do to become the leader I choose to be?

Time for action. Leadership will present challenges to you. How well do you know yourself, and can you plan for actions to build yourself into the leader you want to be?

Styles of Leadership

There are as many styles of leadership as there are diets and workout routines. While you should lead with authenticity, you may find one of the leadership styles below resonates with you. Here are a few leadership styles along with some pros and cons. If you wish to dig deeper into this topic, check out the book Leadership by Peter Northouse.

The Authentic Leader

Why don’t we start here? Bill George describes the authentic leader as having 5 characteristics:

  1. Purpose – They have a strong sense of purpose
  2. Values – They have strong values
  3. Relationships – They establish trusting relationships with others
  4. Discipline – They demonstrate self-discipline
  5. Empathy – They are sensitive and empathetic to the plight of others. 

Authentic leaders are those who know what they are doing and why they are doing it.

The Servant Leader

Servant leaders are attentive to the needs and concerns of followers. They are attentive, empathize, and nurture followers to empower them toward fulfilling their own potential. There are 10 characteristics of a servant leader:

  1. Listening – They listen well and validate the perspectives of followers.
  2. Empathy – Servant leaders truly understand the perspective of followers
  3. Healing – They care about the personal well-being of those they engage with. 
  4. Awareness – They are attuned to the physical, social, and political environment.
  5. Persuasion – This is demonstrated by clear and consistent communication that convinces others to change.
  6. Conceptualization – Servant leaders are visionaries and create clarity on goals and direction.
  7. Foresight – They can predict what is coming.
  8. Stewardship – Servant leaders take responsibility.
  9. Commitment – This refers to commitment to the growth and development of people. 
  10. Community – Servant leaders foster and nurture a community of followers. 

Servant leaders are very focused on others and helping them develop into the best versions of themselves. 

The Transforming Leader

Transformational leadership changes others and focuses on intrinsic motivation and follower development. Compare this to transactional leadership where the leader exchanges one thing for particular behavior from the follower. For example, politicians are often transactional leaders as they promise to provide X, Y, and Z if we only give them our vote. Transformational leaders, however, tap the motives of followers in order to reach the goals of both leader and follower alike. Transformational leaders have 4 traits:

  1. Idealized influence – This is charisma. Followers identify with these leaders and want to emulate them. These leaders typically have very high moral standards.   
  2. Inspirational motivation – These leaders communicate high expectations to followers. They inspire them to become part of the shared vision.
  3. Intellectual stimulation – This involves challenging followers to be creative and innovative. It also includes challenging the followers on their own beliefs, as well as the beliefs of the leader and the organization
  4. Individualized consideration – These leaders support, listen and empathize with individuals. They act as coaches and advisors while empowering others to act. 

To me, the transforming leader is an authentic leader with a healthy dose of charisma.  

The Dictator

I put this in here to see if you were paying attention. Don’t be a dictator. No one wants to work for a tyrant. 

What kind of leader are you?

You do not have to choose one of the above leadership styles. You can pick traits from the lists above and create your own style specific to your strengths. But first, ask yourself the 5 questions to create clarity. At the end of the day, every leader is different. I hope you lean into what makes you a great leader. 

Thanks for reading. 

Until next time…

Clark

 

What is leadership?

What is leadership, and what makes a great leader? No doubt this is a topic that many books and speakers have elaborated on. There are many definitions of leadership. In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown defines a leader as, “…anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.” In Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman says, “Great leaders move us. They ignite our passion and inspire the best of us.” In his book Leadership, Northouse defines leadership as, “… a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal.” You can feel the similarities. Overall I like the summary shared by Jeff Weiner in his LinkedIn Learning course: 

“Leadership is the ability to inspire others to achieve shared objectives.”

 There are 6 words in this definition that help us focus on what leadership is and how to be better at it. Let’s tackle each one below.  

Leadership is a skill

Leadership is a skill. It is something you do and something you can learn. You do not need 10,000 hours of practice to become a good leader, but you must be intentional about learning leadership as a skill. With every hour of intentional practice and reflection, you will build yourself into a stronger leader.

Leadership does not occur in stillness. It is action-oriented. It is an active sport. Think of great leaders. Were they always great leaders? Surely not. But they didn’t become great leaders by sitting on the sidelines. They became great leaders through action, learning, and experience. 

If you are new to leadership, be sure there is much to learn. The 5 points below will give you a starting point for taking action and building your skills.

Leadership is about others

Surprise! Leadership is not about you. It is about your followers. Leaders need followers, not employees, charges, or direct reports. By definition, a leader must have followers to be considered a leader. So how do you earn followers? Well, this is a big question, and this highlights the first dichotomy of leadership: leadership is about you.

In order to be about others, you must first take ownership of your actions, beliefs, words, etc. You must realize that your behavior can influence others. As a leader, you must work to scale efforts through your followers. Understanding how your behavior influences others is a must. Work to master yourself so you can be a good leader for others. 

Leadership is about inspiring

Leadership is not about force. It is about motivating others to act. Great leaders in history painted pictures of new futures, better conditions, more flourishing, and an improved world. Leaders do not manipulate. They inspire. Consider how you show up in this regard. Are your words inspirational? Do you lead a life that motivates others to follow you? 

There is a dichotomy here as well. While leaders inspire others, you must also be inspired. Your passion for a desired future can be contagious. Followers can feel your passion and will buy into your vision only as much as you do. 

Leadership is about objectives

Leading implies you are headed somewhere. Can a boat captain be effective if no destination is set? Leaders share a vision (a set of objectives) and inspire followers to take action toward achieving that vision. The effectiveness of your leadership depends on the clarity of your vision and objectives. It is paramount that you are clear with your objectives. Imagine if a boat captain said, “Well, we will set sail across a dangerous sea… we are headed that way, toward somewhere!” Not too inspiring, eh? Clarity of objectives also includes understanding what you don’t want. The journey to the future is full of distractions and forks in the road. Establish clear objectives and ignore distractions.

Leadership objectives are shared

Though you may be the leader, your followers are not sheep. They are the executors, facilitators, and change agents. They have insights and perspectives that must be acknowledged by the leader. Great leaders co-create a vision of the future through dialogue with their followers. Indeed, many leaders create their own vision of the future only AFTER consulting with followers. Followers cannot effectively push for a desired future if they do not share the beliefs and vision for that future. Leaders who push toward their singular view of the future are on the Edge of dictatorship. 

Leadership involves achievement

Leadership is an active sport. Words can inspire but results are what matter. What actions are you taking to move toward the desired future? How are you promoting positive actions? Do you practice what you preach? As nothing can get done without taking action, consider how you move others to initiate change. 

Objectives and achievements happen on many levels. While leaders push for a desired outcome, achievements can come from changes in processes, hitting milestones, and other outcomes. While the long-term goal should always be top-of-mind, don’t forget that you are on a journey, and hitting a milestone is an achievement. Create clarity about the objectives that can be hit along the way.

Now what?

The above topics cover the basics of leadership. While leadership is a broad field with much research behind it, the points above should give you points to consider as you begin your journey. Try asking these questions:

  1. What are you doing to learn about leadership? What are you practicing?
  2. What is your vision?
  3. How do you engage with followers to co-create that vision?
  4. What are the measurable outcomes, both intermediate and final, that will determine when success is achieved?
  5. How will you inspire yourself and others to take action?
  6. What will you do to support your followers?

Thanks for reading. 

Until next time…

Clark