Trust Matters
A healthy team has trust. Look at any dysfunctional team and you will see problems stemming from a lack of trust. When there is a lack of trust, communication evaporates. Well… communication with YOU (the leader) disappears. Your team will still talk, but it will be gossip, complaining, communication triangles, and all sorts of morale-destroying behavior. Also, good luck getting honest and infiltered information from your team. If there is no trust, then honest communication is hidden. Patrick Lencioni writes about this in The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. Trust is the first dysfunction that must be addressed before any other team problem can be solved. As a leader, it is your job to create and nurture a trusting environment.
Signs of distrust
Be aware that the below are signs of mistrust, but may also breed mistrust.
- Back-biting – this can be gossip, or simply talking about someone else when they are not present
- Communication triangles – This is where person A talks to person B about a problem with person C instead of person A going directly to person C.
- Lack of objections to decisions – When decisions are made, you can be guaranteed there is always someone with a different opinion. If objections are not made, it is possible there is a lack of trust in the group.
- Always hearing what you want to hear – This is similar to the above, but involves more aspects of your work. If you never hear of problems, challenges, mistakes, frustrations, etc., then you may not have earned the trust to hear of such things. This is a problem, because these DO exist, and you can’t help fix what you don’t know about.
How to build trust
There is an old saying that it takes a lifetime to build trust, and a moment to ruin it. I disagree. I believe trust can be quickly earned if your behavior is trustworthy. Also, each of us ascribes a certain amount of our trust to individuals based on our perceptions of them. Then the trust is either reinforced or diminished with future interactions. Be trustworthy. Act trustworthy. You will be fine.
Create clarity, and act, on your values
A trustworthy individual has values/morals/ethics. I acknowledge values/morals/ethics are different but are similar enough for this conversation. I will use them interchangeably for this article. Great leaders make it known what they believe in, then they act in alignment with those beliefs. You must have both! To build trust, you cannot only establish your values without acting in alignment. Also, you cannot act in alignment with your values if no one knows what they are. Establishing your moral identity and acting in alignment has 2 notable effects:
- Increased charisma – Stated values and morals lend to the charisma of a leader. If you know what a leader cares about (and THAT they care), you are more likely to admire them for their commitment to purpose and high moral standards. As mentioned in this article. High moral standards are traits of both authentic leaders and transforming leaders. These leaders inspire us to be more and achieve more.
- Earned trust – It is possible to be charismatic and untrustworthy. However, if you state your values AND act in alignment with them, you increase your trustworthiness. This is simply due to integrity and doing what you say you will do. Any behavior where your actions and words are not aligned makes you inherently untrustworthy.
So how do you create clarity on your values? A starting place is by answering the questions I proposed in this article. Also, have you learned from past experiences that influence your values and ethics? While your moral identity should evolve over time, being intentional with self-reflection will help create clarity on your values and highlight if and when they evolve.
Listen
Another old statement is, “people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I completely agree. If you want others to trust you, then care about them. Don’t fake it. Care. One way to show you care is by listening. Listen to understand and not just respond. When you listen, you allow the other person to feel heard and understood, which does a great deal for creating a personal connection. Also, listening is strategic. When you listen you learn. As a leader, listening can endear you to your followers as well as provide insight for problem-solving. Isn’t being trustworthy fun?
Speak without judgment
Fear of judgment is a real thing. As is fear of retaliation, ex-communication, resentment, etc. If you want to garner trust, listen to understand, then speak without judgment. Humans will err (you and I included, of course) and nobody wants to admit a mistake if they will be excoriated for it. Instead, be the coach. Ask questions, make no assumptions, guide, help, and do not judge!
Imagine yourself on the opposite side of this argument, just to drive the point home. Imagine you are at work, crushing it, doing what you feel is right, pushing toward a goal, and you realize you messed up. Like… you made a mistake which could cost your company thousands, or hundreds of thousands of dollars. You know what you did wrong. You know what you need to do to fix it. You need to tell your manager. How do you want your manager to respond? I am willing to bet that the way you should react to your own team is the same way you desire your manager to react to you.
Your next steps
Leadership can work without trust, albeait much less effectively. Start your journey here by answering the questions shared in this article. Then, establish how and when you will make time to practice your skills of communication. How will you share your values? How will you live by them? How will you listen? How will you communicate without judgment.
Go be a great leader. Go be trustworthy.
Thanks for reading.
Until next time…
Clark